muses and impediments

took a bit of a break from art-ing and blog-ing to do......hell i don't have a good excuse,

other than playing with/breaking up fights between these two miscreants:

 

israel

palestine

 

 

but i'm back, with the re-realization

that a lot of why i am writing this, and putting this on the internet

is because it is a way of honoring, i guess, my own creative instincts and desires.

mirrors at spalding house, honolulu

2012

 

if i publish it on the internet, it must mean something to me, right?

otherwise my life and mind are too chaotic and disorganized

to ever take a true moment to assign that much importance and intention to it.

it's a way of formally acknowledging something

that i have spent too much time ignoring and pushing aside

for other seemingly more important concerns.

leaf discovered on a walk, graphite

2010

 

 

 

 

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take what you need

we started with a new model this week. a new beginning and a new perspective - i chose to draw her from a different perspective than usual. in fact i think i've only ever attempted portraits from straight on. there's something comforting in knowing that if you draw them head-on, you can always double check for relative symmetry between eyes, ears, and other features. this time i thought it would be fun to try a kind of 3/4 angle, and to boot i am sitting low and in front, looking up at her, rather than straight on.

 

funny thing is, working from this new place, it almost felt like a new mindset went with it. i struggled a lot less with the initial placement of features, and i got to a good place relatively quickly (which is unusual).

how do i know i am in a "good place" with a drawing? i take a pic of it on my phone and look at the pic - it helps me remove myself from the piece. then i ask myself: "if someone else drew this, would i wish i had drawn it?" this time, the answer is already yes, and that makes me happy.

 

 

as i left class, i came across a 'nanogallery' in the lobby of the building with a lovely interactive display and an offering outside the door to the tiny installation.

 

 

in other news, i should have realized that bringing a kitten into the household would be incredibly disruptive. lilac, the resident queen cat of the house, is not happy and is suddenly fond of growling and hissing.

lilac does not like to share.

madeline, the kitten, is adorable and a complete spaz. she climbs my jeans, she is learning how to fetch, she knows now how to whine pathetically to gain my sympathy, and she meows like a little squeaky bird.

the intrepid intruder, madeline

 

the resident diva, lilac.

hopefully she'll come around and realize having a new kitty friend isn't the end of her world. after all, there's all that kitten food she can steal when we're not looking.

 

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bird surveillance

 

I've had this idea rolling around in my head for a couple of years - depicting birds

with a visual representation of their call or song.

I've never done anything with it because whenever I articulate it to myself, it sounds stupid. but the idea or image keeps coming back to me, and the purpose of writing this blog is nothing if not to get over judgements like that. who cares if it's stupid? (I mean, I care, apparently, but I'll try to overlook that for now)

 

 

to that end, I managed to record a couple of mynahs (nesting?)

on the drainpipes outside my classroom.

they seem pretty paranoid of human attention in general, so I tried to appear disinterested in them

as I casually (oh so casually) snapped a photo and recorded them with the voice memo feature on my phone.

 

I captured a short but spirited exchange as they discussed something or other.

I'm not sure how best to translate the recording into a visual representation of their conversation, or how to go about removing the background noise, but I guess I'll cross that bridge later. for now, just did a quick-and-dirty sketch using the 'brushes' app.

 

this morning as I walked up the stairs from the parking lot, gripping my shitty 7-11 coffee and not quite awake, I was stopped in my tracks by one of my favorite sounds: the rubber-bandy, quirky call of a white tern, very close. I looked up to see one sitting by itself in a tree directly above me.

 

we stared at each other, he lost interest, I got out my phone and started recording and taking some photos. he closed his eyes as if to nap, and then opened them again as three other white terns flew by. he chattered at them, not quite as loudly as the first time, but I managed to catch it on tape.

 

these birds are so cute, I can't even stand it.

 

 

 

this video, shot on midway, does a great job of capturing their voice, part cackle, part rubber band:

 

 

Rubber Band Birds from Barb Mayer on Vimeo.

 

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dude emerging slowly from the fog

We have a new and fabulous model sitting for us.

Imagine sitting motionless for a total of 12 hours in the same position. Granted, that's spread over 4 weeks (3 hours once a week), but still. I don't think many people would have the patience (myself included) to sit still with their thoughts for that long, let alone while people stare and scrutinize...

 

3 photos taken over the course of last night's session.

I like documenting the emergence of an image, from its ghostly beginnings through to where thrillingly recognizable features begin to come forward and announce themselves.

 

He's got a great mug, this dude.

 

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letting go of expectations

 

most of the time, i find that i do not sit down to draw/paint because

i cannot get past my own expectations that whatever i'm about to make has to be perfect and awesome.

because i know i cannot guarantee that outcome,

those unrealistic expectations are usually enough to send me away from the sketchbook.

 

 

quickie sketch of rabbit island with cloudy-bits in the background, using a brush pen. hard for me to work with but the feel of the brush really reminds me of all those thousands-years-old chinese brush paintings i saw at the museum last summer.

i sort of felt like i was maybe obligated to add some abstract cranes making their way across the sky.

 

 

why can't an imperfect, not-necessarily awesome piece still be a success?

it's hard to accomplish for me, but so worthwhile

when i can remove that expectation of awesomeness

and simply enjoy the process of seeing and sketching.

 

 

fast sketch using a micron fine-tip pen. though i truly feel most at ease with graphite (aka pencils) because you can get so much nuance from it, i also like scribbly sketches with a skinny marker. for some reason i really enjoy the feel of working so fast and scribbly.

rabbit island to the left, ko`olaus to the right, itty-bitty makapu`u lighthouse somewhere in between.

 

so worthwhile, though.

it's truly the only time i can silence the chatter in my brain

and feel momentarily at peace.

i'm even ok with the less-than-perfect finished products because i remember

how calming it was to draw them in the first place.

 

 

rabbit island sillhouette with clouds in the background. i toyed with the idea of adding stylized and uber-detailed water, but my book was calling to me so i let it be.

waimanalo, oahu

9-30-12

 

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Buddha bowl

it seems my immune system, angry from

all the abuse I've handed down lately, has gone on vacation

and left me here alone to reconsider my evil ways.

my first peace offering: the Buddha bowl.

the name alone sounds epic and healing. it's full of good stuff.

brown rice, yams, onion, garlic, collard greens, cilantro, carrots, black beans,

and a handful of spices: cayenne pepper, cumin, paprika, and turmeric.

I added a handful of snow peas for crunch, and of course

half an avocado, and some lemon juice.

Recipe from the lovely Umber Dove

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portrait no. 2

spent 3 hours creating this portrait last night in class. i am happy with the progress,  though i am pretty sure the proportions of her face are not quite true. 
 maybe her eyes are too high?  or her face too narrow?
it was very fun and satisfying to work from a graphite ground  and remove lighter areas with an eraser.   i enjoyed approaching the drawing from another angle. rather than  the usual beginning with lines and details,  it's good to draw with the eraser - it really helps me focus on areas of light and dark  rather than getting mired in the details of line work to start the piece.
will work on it some more next week.   it's nice to have so much time to work on a piece. 
 12 hours of the same pose is kind of a dream for me. 
 i can get lost in that amount of time,  and i need some getting lost these days.